He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
