So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
