READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
tell me about the eggs
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