You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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