We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
