Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
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He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
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Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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