the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
my sisters under your porch take her home
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
