its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize