I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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