I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She even gives head with a lisp.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize