is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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