there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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