last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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