okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
