Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
