Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
