Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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