I wanna passion pit in your ass
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
