we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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