Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she told me i tasted like america
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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