Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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