my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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