I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
