weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
