Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
