I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
