I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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