Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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