lets start a swedish sibling band together
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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