Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
