quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
