he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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