I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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