i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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