Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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