i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Semen is not good for contacts.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
