I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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