Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
