Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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