He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Girls should come with a carfax report
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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