I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
