They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
