My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
