I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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