So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
