I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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