He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
