We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize