And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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