Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I think I am morally bankrupt
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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