Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
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whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE