there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just had sex on a roof
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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